lizuhd:

how come phineas is always like “i know what we’re going to do today” maybe ferb had an idea you ass

(Source: leafwhirlwind, via unknown-nipple)

macarena-of-time:

i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis

(via unknown-nipple)

charlamagnethagod:

The two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school

(Source: sidnugget, via unknown-nipple)

steven-stoned:

OH MY FUCKING GOD OKAY I WAS IN MY BIOLOGY LESSON JUST NOW AND WE WERE LEARNING ABOUT PLANT SEX ORGANS AND WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT CUCUMBERS AND WE MADE OUR TEACHER TYPE “WHAT SEX ARE CUCUMBERS?” INTO GOOGLE AN D SHE CLICKED ON THE FIRST LINK WITHOUT THINKING AND IT WAS A FUCKING GALLERY OF IMAGES OF SEXUAL PENETRATION USING CUCUMBERS AN D SHE SCREAMED AND SHE WAS TRYING TO GET I T OFF THE SCREEN AND I WAS FUCKING LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

(via unknown-nipple)

tupacabra:

when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay

(via unknown-nipple)

thedramaticsneeze:

hoshigumayuugi:

i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early

YOU  PUT THIS IN WORDS

(via unknown-nipple)

homleschapel:

summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell

(via misswinch)